Horror Movie Review: Zombies: Christmas Apocalypse (2024)

Be warned, not only is Zombies: Christmas Apocalypse a really bad film that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, but it’s not actually the film it claims to be.

Released in 2016, Zombies is a zombie horror film that gained some notoriety because it was released via the Romero Pictures production company, amongst others. It, alongside a bit-part role for horror icon Tony Todd, was the only notable thing about it and our review (written in 2017 – read here) slammed it.

Why am I mentioning this? Because Zombies: Christmas Apocalypse is the same f**king film. I kid you not. All they’ve done is rebrand it, give it some minor edits (I could barely remember the original), add additional scenes, and re-release it as a ‘new movie’. Which would be bad enough to suck many in, but claiming it’s a Christmas zombie film? That’s going to make suckers out of many – me included.

Ok, it’s not the end of the world and this is hardly the first film to do this sort of thing, but this one stings that little bit more for two reasons.

The first being that I love Christmas. I love Christmas horror and that fresh marketing cover had me dreaming of a red Christmas with rotting limbs in ugly sweaters. Deck the freaking halls with intestines? Throw another leg on the fire? Place a rotting skull on the Christmas tree? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, and I am very mad about that. Don’t point at the intro and tell me that counts. It doesn’t.

Then we have the second reason this one stings and its way more important than the lack of Christmas blood and guts. Zombies: Christmas Apocalypse aka Zombies is a really bad film that is nearly two hours long. That’s insane, right? No zombie film should be an hour and a half long, let alone nearly two. Yet, this wasn’t the case with the original. This cut has been padded out to the extreme turning an already lacklustre experience into a really disjointed one.

So, what actually happens in Zombies: Christmas Apocalypse!? ‘Tis the season – sort of – and a zombie outbreak is occurring. Cut to months later and the world is now plagued by the walking dead. A guy works to clear the streets of the undead, helping anyone left unscathed. During one failed rescue mission he is rescued by a woman, his ex, and together, they hook up with Tony Todd at his camp. The dead are coming though, and if that wasn’t bad enough, mistrust runs rife and as always, some people are as big a threat as the zombies.

It really is as dull as that. Don’t watch this, it’s a waste of time. If you already saw the 2016 film, you did your time and if you’re tempted by the ‘Christmas’ marketing, heed my warning, it’s a lie.