Horror Movie Review: Breeders (1986)

Breeders isn’t just bad, it is famously bad. A movie that on paper sounds perfect for 80’s horror fans but has so many problems that it is flat out unenjoyable.

Directed by Tim Kincaid, this abomination stars Teresa Farley, Lance Lewman, and Frances Raines. It begins showing a woman angrily leaving a taxi cab shouting that it takes way more to get into her pants.

She runs into an elderly man who she tries to help that is until he transforms into an alien creature and attacks her. Looking like a poor copy of the original 1958 Fly monster, it’s the first of many disappointments.

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Over the course of the movie more women are attacked leaving them in a catatonic state. This doesn’t give the police, particularly Detective Dale Androtti (Lance Lewman) much to go on.

He teams up with Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley) and together they discover that each woman was a virgin and that the alien creature is trying to reproduce.

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In an instant the biggest issue with Breeders becomes apparent. It has some of the worst acting ever. Not in a ‘so good it’s bad’ kind of way, it’s just bad. Dialogue delivered as if most have only just learned how to speak, a total lack of emotion, no facial expressions…it’s near unwatchable with Teresa Farley being the worst culprit.

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Then you have the effects. As mentioned above the monster is extremely disappointing, it looks like a man in a suit and doesn’t excite or intrigue. The film does have some graphic moments such as a bubbling chest explosion scene but even these look horribly fake.

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The story is nothing special but is told in such a random and roundabout way it just comes across boring. Unless lots of naked women are what you watch your horror for. Yeah,. Breeders has a lot of nudity in it as the women take off their clothes or get them ripped off in regular intervals.

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Not only that but the five women who end up under the alien’s influence end the movie sitting in what can only be described as an ‘alien cum bath’. I’m not joking. The finale is stupid and goes on for ages resulting in an ending that just elects deep signs. Is it over? Finally.

What? They remade it in 1997 and it is considered to be worse?!

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Breeders
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