It has been 14 years since the release of Eli Roth’s cult classic, Cabin Fever. Whether you’re a fan of that movie or not there is no denying that it had a couple of memorable moments. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that it had a hand in bringing the “splatter film” to mainstream audiences. Two years after its release we had movies like SAW and others which were making a killing at the box office. Its 2016 so that can mean only one thing for Cabin Fever, a pointless remake!
If you’ve seen the original then there really isn’t any purpose for this film to exist, it’s almost an exact shot for shot remake which as we all know is the worst type of remake there is.
A group of college students head out to a secluded cabin in the woods for a weekend of partying. They are exposed to a flesh eating virus from a hidden source. This happens after coming into contact with a man who had previously contracted the virus. They accidentally kill the man and inadvertently damage their only vehicle. For some reason that means they must now stay in the cabin and rot. The strange sheriff, who for whatever reason acts more like a stripper promises that she will send a tow truck in the morning. After one of them becomes infected, they are forced to quarantine her in an outdoor shed. If things didn’t seem bad enough, they are repeatedly terrorized by a dog that has also contradicted the rage inducing disease. Will they survive until the next day? What is causing the disease to spread in the first place?
That’s a quick description of the film for those that have not seen the original but as I said above; it’s basically the same as the director (Travis Z) used the same script that Eli Roth did in 2002. You might think that for me to criticize this remake is for me to criticize the original as well which is only slightly true. The characters may do pretty much the exact same things they do in the original but they’ve been “modernized” it in the remake and it shows. It shows in the worst way possible. Also, Cabin Fever (2002) got a pass for the ridiculous amount of stupid choices the characters make because it was 2002. It’s 2016 and I don’t think audiences are anywhere near as accepting as they were when these types of movies were in their infancy.
I will now give a couple of examples of the dumb things that happen in Cabin Fever (2016), it’s been a while since I’ve seen the original but this may be directed at that as well (Spoilers Ahead).
Firstly, the character of Bert is portrayed as a sort of 5th wheel type. Also, he happens to be obsessed with video games according to his friends. He brings an automatic weapon on the trip with him, how fun. This guy genuinely nearly accidentally shoots his friend and his friend brushes it off as if it was nothing, what? After doing this, he lights a camp fire and leaves it unattended to go off into the woods and pretend he’s in a video game or something. This leads to him accidentally shooting an infected man and then he runs off and leaves the man when he’s crying for help. The man could have been in a car accident or he could have been attacked by a bear or something, Bert is a sick bastard.
The man finds the cabin that the group are staying in and what do they do? They set him on fire because he attempts to steal their car. His blazing corpse runs off into the night and you assume he jumped into the nearby lake to cool off. Later, when someone is in the lake he bursts out like it’s Crystal Lake or some shit and attacks them. How is he even still alive? He was pretty messed up the last time he was seen. I didn’t realise the virus gave you the ability to breathe underwater. How is he killed? He’s easily choked to death in about 7 seconds.
Karen is first to contract the virus. She is quarantined inside the shed to avoid her spreading it to anyone else. She deteriorates while there and eventually it falls to Paul to put her out of her misery. How does he do this I hear you ask? Well, he tries to use the gun but it locks up. Instead he stabs her in the face with a shovel (which doesn’t kill her). Then he throws petrol on her which obviously hurts her gaping wounds. He sets light to her and walks away but not before watching for an unusual amount of time. The joke is that the gun simply had its safety. Paul proves later that he knows exactly where that is on the weapon, nice guy!
Why didn’t they even attempt to walk away from the cabin? I know they hoped the cop would send the tow truck but they stick it out an unrealistic amount of time.
I could so easily go on and on. There are so damn many more major problems with this film. Not only its characters and the choices that they make.
Cabin Fever (2016) is the worst horror movie I have seen in a very long time. It quite literally doesn’t need to exist. It doesn’t even attempt anything new, it’s just so lazy. It’s completely lacking any emotion or semblance of a coherent plot, it’s lifeless. I’m giving it a point because some of the gore is decent.
Cabin Fever - Remake
The Final Score - 1/10
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