Album Review: Lesbian Bed Death – Satan’s Cellar (Psychophonic Records)

With their love of horror, everything macabre, and loud guitars, the UK’s finest gothic punk /heavy metal band, Lesbian Bed Death have returned with a killer new album and a movie too!

‘Satan’s Cellar’ is the soundtrack to the horror anthology of the same name, written and directed by rhythm guitarist Dan Peach. The album is out on February 13th, 2026, via Psychophonic Records.

From the fact that it is the soundtrack to a horror film created by Dan, to the fact that it’s a brand-new Lesbian Bed Death album, there are a ton of reasons to be excited about Satan’s Cellar. While I’ll have to wait to cast judgement on the film (can’t wait to see it), what I can talk about is this banging new album that lives up to the Lesbian Bed Death promise of sinful, sleazy, heavy, horror-laden metal and then some.

The modern incarnation of Lesbian bed Death is sounding tighter (and heavier) than ever here, kicking the album off in old-school hyperactive head banging fashion. The Midnight Horror Show is an instant horror rock anthem, with a Misfits style chorus too. Whereas the vocals are the star of the heavy Divine Parasite show, Death Row Disco is so damn infectious (the bass is awesome), and Bad Energy’s riffy groove gets the body quivering all over. A series of lovable efforts that give nothing away as far as the film goes but confirms just how on form this band is on.

Inevitably though, with an album as full as this, and with a band as prolific as this, there might be the odd track that just isn’t as interesting as what is found elsewhere. One such track for me comes next and it’s Love Bites from the Beast. A difficult thing to say as it’s a well written and well performed track, I just don’t find it as exciting or interesting as what is on offer with the likes of Dark Waters.

The sinister vibes, twisted atmosphere, and synthy touch is great, but it’s the chorus that blows me away with that track. Awesome stuff and one of my favourites. Whereas Cry Me a River of Blood and Time Kills Everything deliver a bevy of salacious riffs, infectious choruses, and plenty of ripping and roaring heavy metal and rock gold. Lesbian Bed Death continuing to do what they do so well, albeit with a bit more ‘thickness’ that gives it the heavier edge.

How excited are you for the film? How about seeing these tracks performed live? The likes of Exorsisters (the guitar soloing is wild) and Switchblade Valentine (another killer chorus) are going to slay in a packed room, but you’d be hard pressed to find a track that wouldn’t.

Case in point? The penultimate track, Atomic Romance and its super-synth that gives it such a retro rock and pop feel. It’s so much fun and I love it. So much so that The Cosmic God with Thirteen Eyes doesn’t quite reach the same high even though it is a racing and raucous ending that puts the garish exclamation mark on another absolute rager of a release from this band. Do they ever do anything but? Embrace the horror… again, it’s so much fun!

Lesbian Bed Death – Satan’s Cellar Track Listing:

1. The Midnight Horror Show
2. Divine Parasite
3. Death Row Disco
4. Bad Energy
5. Love Bites from The Beast
6. Dark Waters
7. Cry Me a River of Blood
8. Time Kills Everything
9. Exorsisters
10. Switchblade Valentine
11. Atomic Romance
12. The Cosmic God with Thirteen Eyes

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