Horror Movie Review: Piranha Women (2022)

You really should know what you’re getting into when you settle down to watch a Full Moon film called Piranha Women. It’s going to be silly, it’s going to be nonsensical, it will likely look quite bad, and it will be quite short (by modern feature film standards), but it may also entertain. Or at least it should, after all, this is Full Moon and they’re not always nailing it.

Happily, this one sits on the better side of things, proving to be entertaining enough, and blending a semi-serious story with absurd ideas, outrageous visuals, suspect acting, and a ton of sleaziness.

Written and directed by Fred Olen Ray, Piranha Women’s ‘science gone wrong’ story is given a modern twist as Alexi (Sof Puchley) is given experimental treatment for her aggressive cancer, seemingly curing her. Cause for celebration, of course, but her boyfriend Richard (Bobby Rice) isn’t so sure as the treatment seems to change her personality, resulting in her dumping him, and moving in with other women who have had the treatment.

Convinced that the doctor (Shary Nassimi) gave Alexi something bad (he did – piranha DNA), Richard refuses to give up on his love, but risks becoming food for the doctor’s collection of Piranha Women.

The film opens with a guy getting his penis bitten off in a pool. It sets the film’s tone, and it only gets wilder from there. At least when it’s on focused on Richard’s attempts to find out the truth about the experiment/save Alexi from her fishy fate. Alas, far too much time is given to this part of the story, and there’s not enough focus on the actual piranha women. A real shame as the scenes where they get half naked, reveal their toothy grins (my, what big teeth they have), and even show off some mini- piranha mouths and teeth where their nipples should be, are the best bits of the film.

It’s not a film to take seriously, as you can tell, but there is an admirable effort to ensure it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. For my tastes it does get bogged down around the middle, but it’s not enough of a problem to ruin things and it still ends up being a recommended watch. It’s a delightful Full Moon special with a silly story, nonsensical plot points, looking pretty rough in places, and is over within an hour. Perfect.