Horror Movie Review: Contamination .7 (1990)

Directed by Fabrizio Laurenti (who also co-wrote it with Albert Lawrence and Daniele Stroppa) under the name Martin Newlin, with some parts also supposedly directed by producer Joe D’Amato, but uncredited, it’s not too much of a surprise that Contamination .7 (also known as The Crawlers, Troll 3 and Creepers) is a messy film. Yet, until seen, no-one can fully understand or appreciate just how bad it is.

Before I dive into the details though, let’s address one of its many names – Troll 3. A name that might turn a head or two, but be warned, there are zero connections to the original Troll movie or the infamous Troll 2. It’s just a name and the film is probably best known as The Crawlers. I watched it under the title Contamination .7 and can summarise it as an experience that most will forget the moment it ends, but most will have some fun while watching it, thanks to a certain amount of ‘so bad it’s good’ elements.

The film stars Mary Sellers (the only semi-notable name), Jason Saucier, Bubba Reeves and Chelsi Stahr and is set in a small town blighted by mutant tree roots. Yes, you did read that correctly, it is as stupid as it sounds. However, it’s also a concept with silly promise.

Personally, I was looking forward to seeing a badly acted, cheesy, poorly aged sci-fi horror about killer tree roots. Alas, while Contamination .7 has all the parts, it doesn’t have the capability to deliver on expectations. It is stupid, and this does make it more fun to watch, but we’re not supposed to be laughing at a film for being so bad.

The issues within Contamination .7 are many. From a lifeless plot to terrible characters, to embarrassing acting, ugly visuals, and bad sound. It’s a film that has very little going for it at all. Except for the fact that its ‘terribleness’ ends up having a small amount of charm. Especially for those who enjoy a film so bad that it starts to seem good. I know that term is overused, and I’m not saying it fits here at all, but there is no denying that the film does have moments where what you are seeing goes beyond a normal level of crap.

Who is to blame? The script is awful, but so is the directing. Yet even the best director in the world would struggle to squeeze a good performance out of this cast. It’s also clear that money was an issue and what was available didn’t get spent on effects. Everywhere you look, something is wrong with this film.

An alcoholic beverage of your choice, a crowd willing to buy into the rubbish on show, maybe even a laugh track, and it could almost become one of the more famous ‘bad efforts’. Unfortunately, it’s such a niche film that it has mostly been forgotten about, and I don’t see that changing, regardless of how many reviews, like this, tell you that it’s worth checking out just to see how bad it is.