Horror Movie Review: Hippo’s Revenge (2025)

Nobody, and I mean nobody, goes into a film called ‘Hippo’s Revenge’ expecting Citizen Kane or Schindler’s List. It’s not going to be high-brow cinema, you’re not going to come away changed by it, and it will barely live in the memory a week, let alone years down the line. Yet even though expectations will be low as far as quality goes, expectations for entertainment value will be high. After all, it’s called Hippo’s Revenge.

So, is Hippo’s Revenge all that it promises to be? A bloody, slapstick horror that has fools being crushed and eaten by a rampaging hippo?

Written and directed by Sam P. Green, Hippo’s Revenge surrounds a Safari Rescue in England run by Crispin (Jason Bailey) and his right-hand woman, Aluna (Evyn George). They are due to open soon and have recently acquired a mother hippo and her calf. Don’t ask about the how or why of it all or question the fact that the hippo is already responsible for several deaths, because the film doesn’t have the answer.

If this wasn’t enough pressure for the Crispin and Aluna, the former is also trying to reconnect with his teenage daughter, Sora aka Bug (Jenna N. Wilson) and having to deal with lazy staff like Daniel (Tom Marchant). I’d almost feel sorry for him, except he’s a wholly unlikable character making the most nonsensical of decisions and, along with Aluna, barely bats an eye when one of his employees gets his arm bitten off by the hippo at the start.

This moment, the effects, the acting, the stupidity of the story is an early indicator of just how bad Hippo’s Revenge is. Yet, incredibly, it gets worse from this point onwards. You see, someone nefarious wants the hippos. Who and why is not really established, outside of a pointless opening scene, and they send a gang of goons to capture them, led by Sidney (Michael Hoad – the best actor in the film, but even he struggles with this atrocious script).

A bunch of goons for the hippo to kill, right? Nope. As hilariously, the actual hippo is barely in the film and most of the time, hides in bushes. Although once you see it, you’ll understand why the editors decided to keep it off screen. It is a shockingly bad effect, and when it interacts with a human, it couldn’t look more fake. Which probably explains why the film is damn dark too.

That is just one of many problems that make this one of the worst films released this year.

The story isn’t just stupid, it’s insulting. Demanding that the viewer accept utter tripe as reasons for anything happening here. There’s unchaining your brain and then there is having a lobotomy, yet even then, most of what happens and why it happens will still drive most people nuts.

The stupidity of characters, the cringy things they do, the pathetic attempt to make them matter when nothing does, all coupled with so much bad acting, it must be seen to be believed. You’ll find yourself constantly screaming at the TV, begging for someone to deliver a line with gusto, say something that makes them feel real, and at least try to pretend that they’re dealing with a real hippo.

I realise that this level of rubbish might sound entertaining to some, but be warned, the worst thing about Hippo’s Revenge is that it is remarkably dull. If you’re expecting fast-paced shenanigans involving a vengeful hippo on a rampage, well, aren’t you the fool. How stupid of us for expecting something like that in a film called Hippo’s Revenge!?

It gives me no pleasure to slam a film like this, but Hippo’s Revenge is an absolute shocker. You’d get more entertainment out of watching an actual real-life hippo defecate over and over again. It would probably look better than the film does too.