Elves is a sequel to the 2017 horror movie, The Elf. A sequel no-one who saw the first movie wanted. The Elf was a terrible, terrible horror movie and Elves isn’t much better. You can read our review of the first film here.
The opening sets up just how dumb this movie is. A kid gets possessed by an elf toy and somehow gets his younger brother to crawl into an oven. The possessed kid then turns it on and the boy inside quietly complains as if he is worried that he might wake his parents.
After this head-scratcher of a start, we then meet a group of friends who decide to play a game. One where they write the worst thing they have ever done on a list. Because…reasons? Each character then goes their own way but are forced by demonic elves to act out what they wrote otherwise they will die.
If you’re reading that and thinking that sounds nothing like the first film, you’re right. This might be a sequel but the only thing it shares in common is an elf. Even then we also get a sub-plot regarding a masked killer.
It doesn’t matter because as far as plot goes, Elves is barren. As far as character go, Elves is embarrassingly basic and as far as thrills go, Elves misses the mark by some distance. The concept isn’t terrible but the execution is. Who are these characters? We get no introductions at all, they just exist and are suddenly in peril.
Considering how slow and contrived the movie is, why we didn’t get some form of character development to make us care even a little is puzzling. Of course, it’s hardly helped by a cast that is mostly misses although at times you can’t fault them as the dialogue is messy. Even a decent actor would struggle to get across the incoherent exposition effectively.
Elsewhere the lack of decent scares (the film gets pretty obsessed with over-sized grinning faces) and memorable kills really adds to the monotonous feeling. Before it’s even halfway over you’ll be wondering just how much longer you have left.
The Final Score - 3/10