Copping a fresh spray of salty froth from the choppy Caribbean sea, Dick Dribbley and Jack Cock wiped the hefty drips from their brows and waved their hands in pride. Blowing in the breeze, and also flapping in the wind, they had earned the right to drop zip and spill seed.
Dick took a chug from Jack’s gluggy martini and smirked, “skin or no skin, all tastes the same to me”. Whipping out his little slug and rolling back the sheets, Jack presented something he’d been saving for a special occasion. “You’ll notice the difference when you garnish it with some of this crust”, he announced.
No one will ever really know who these mysterious fellows were that day, despite flashing their licenses and leaving behind a lot of DNA. As far as Jack Cock and Dick Dribbley were concerned, they left as heroes and bustled on outta there. Illustrious by name, crumbly by nature.
Whatever the hell Tom Thumb is, their new album ‘Licence to Spill’ will be released on June 16th 2021.
If you’re easily offended, Tom Thumb’s tongue in cheek songs about all manner of stuff comes with a NSFW warning. Hell, a lot of what’s on offer here should come with a NSFA warning. That’s ‘Not Safe For Anyone’ in case you were wondering.
Track titles like Cumming Out of the Closet, Deep Fried Dick, My Outstretched Arsehole, I Just Ate That 3 Day Old Boiled Egg, Cumahoy and Start Sucking should give you some idea of what you’re in for. Especially as those listed there are just 1/3 of this album. A 21-track journey into the depraved minds of the two piece – affectionately known as Jack Cock and Dick Dribbley. However, what might come as surprise is that it’s not a grind-focused blast of noise only, in fact there’s some downright rocking beauties on this album.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of grind/death and metal blasts but there’s also a ton of riffing and plenty of hooks. They, like the comedic intros of many of the tracks, put a smile on the face because it shows there is plenty of talent within this duo. They just so happen to want to make music based around cumming.
It’s not high-brow stuff and that’s fine because it is a lot of fun to listen too. It’s something that finishes quickly but more than satisfies. Do you have the stamina for another round?
Tom Thumb – Licence to Spill Full Track Listing:
1. Sperm Wail
2. Cumming Out Of The Closet
3. Cum Spillage In Aisle 3
4. Harry Porter
5. Deep Fried Dick
6. Eat Before Cumming
7. My Outstretched Arsehole
8. Button Cock
9. Fiddle Fingers
10. Dick Filled With Dirt
11. Three Blind Mice
12. Robin’s Hood
13. Foregiven But Not Foregotten
14. Rocket’s Hefty Spray
15. Piss By Piss
16. Rock Around The Cock
17. I Just Ate That 3 Day Old Boiled Egg
19. Puff ’n’ Stuff
20. Use A Straw
21. Start Sucking
Tom Thumb - Licence To Spill (Self Released)
The Final Score - 7/10